Conkers

Well, I finally finished a fun year of Vis Comm. Another year closer to finishing, it feels satisfying. But also a step back in a few ways. None of which I will elaborate on in any fine detail, just to say I’m disappointed that none of my personal projects have got any further. They’re still seeds, or in some cases, seeds about to pop open which I haven’t been able for one reason or the other to work on so much. Mostly laziness, plus insomnia, and the headaches insomnia brings. Saying that, I don’t want to focus on the bad, it doesn’t look good on me. Baby steps, eh.

And what am I talking about, it’s only July, still time to salvage 2009.

Tomorrow night I’m going to London to see Neil Young! I’m excited, heard his past few performances in the UK he’s been stringing out the classics, which let’s face it everyone comes for, don’t care so much for his new ones. NEIL YOUNG. Damn. It’s funny actually, a few weeks ago went to see a Scot, Dougie Maclean (folk singer who my dad introduced me too as a kid) He came straight to us, played at my local arts complex, couldn’t believe it when I saw the poster. And it was a good experience, sort of surreal hearing this guy you’ve known all your life, just never met face-to-face.

Since I finished I’ve started to really try and train. Mostly walks and jogging, I’m not a gym-goer, never was. Fortunately I am a super-skinny person but I have been feeling sort of bloated recently, so that’s what pushed me. Wow, so interesting, sorry I’m telling you this.

Well thats me dusted for the day, time for a jog funnily enough, then catch the football. Good to be back here, sorry for the long absence.

Not that I have much to say today, but this place is looking barren. I have been too busy thinking visually the past month that I’ve forgotten the joy of words. Ah beautiful words. Words are so easy. Words don’t need a reason behind them. You can write something and someone will know exactly what you mean immediately. A picture is worth a thousand words, and that’s the problem sometimes. So much space for individual interpretation.

So what have I done the past month? Well I can tell you what I haven’t done much, and that’s sleep.  Still juggling around trying to fit a hundred things into my routine. Work, friends, projects… But its been fun, I’ve got further with uni, the work is still interesting me and I’m glad for that. Last week I was hired to create a documentary for IAW (Islam Awareness Week). So I was filming events for a couple of days. I did the same two years ago, so I knew in essence what they wanted.

So the image below is an example of what we’ve been asked to do, which is to think constantly about composition, and build a library of what you think composition in visual design is all about. Today I wanted to integrate text and shape somehow. This is all about how I found it interesting that the size and position of the text had an effect on the order in which we read things. You can find this everywhere, comic books to advertising.

Well that’s it from me. I’m so tired I keep mistaking my phone for my mouse. Hehe, later!

I’ve been in a rotten mood of late, and after wondering whether what my bad mood needed was a good book, I set about browsing for those in my favourite genre, which for those of you few who read me happens to be Sci-fi/Fantasy. I stumbled eventually on the Twilight series. I’d heard of the impending movie (Out November I think) and being a ’sucker’ for all things Vampire (cmon, try hard to laugh!) I picked the first book up. I was quickly drawn into the world of a teenage girl who moves in with her Dad and falls head over heels with Edward, a vampire. I wished I’d been warned beforehand that this was part romance, but by the time I contemplated stopping and choosing another book, I was too curious as to where the story was going to stop reading. I am not really one for the romantic novels, much less movies, but I don’t mind so much when there is a nice blend of adventure in there too, and this series had an interesting enough plot to keep me reading.The storyline focuses on how Bella Swan is introduced into a world of mythical creatures, predominately vampires and werewolve, and her quest to eventually…well. This isn’t a review. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Let’s just say she loves the vamp lifestyle.

So that was what, Monday, and today (Sunday, just about an hour ago infact) I finished the fourth and final book in the series. What a roller-coaster! I have to say I enjoyed the ride, although he storyine itself doesn’t seem complete to me though. I’m hoping the author, Stephanie Meyer, decides to carry it on. I just thought the plot didn’t reach the sort of climax I would have enjoyed, and I guess a reason for this (and I’ll try wording this so it doesnt sound harsh) is that the story didn’t really tell much, not much really happened. And when it did, not much was resolved. It was a nice, peaceful ending, but it left me with the sense that Meyer hasn’t really finished the tale. I’m hoping not, anyway. But this isn’t taking anyhting away from what the story did have, a rivetting and hearty adventure of two souls. Aaw. I must be turning mushy. Time to stop before I get even mushier!

What do you do when you need help but not advice.
When all you are offered is something you’ve already tried.
When the source of others comfort is your source of discomfort.
When fears are unassailable.
And when sitting down to dwell on those fears is worse than ignoring them.

The biggest person on my call records is the person I ignore the most.

People are all going their separate words again for study. I start bright and early Monday morning, I can’t wait. I’ve set myself the goal to be a slave to my work this year. OK, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. I’ve just been out of the loop for a while and I’m all fired up to knock it out the park.

I think the time limit for getting an apartment has kind of come and gone (I chose to leave it late) so that means I’ll be with my parents for the next year. Not particularly happy about this really. Yeah I’ll save money but I feel out of place here, like I should be gone. I know I’d rather have my own place. I’m still going to try and find a place before the new year, and know a friend who wants to flat-share, so here’s hoping. Not looking forward to the hour and a half journey out of the city each day…

Yesterday there was a ‘parting of ways’ do. It was pretty fun, got there just in time to break my fast and managed to see mostly everyone before they left.

This morning I woke up with a jolt. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes you get the kind of dreams which are reminders, which help you on your journey. I had just woken up from one of those.I won’t divulge fully, but the premise was that I had committed a crime of some sort (I don’t know what it was) and I was given a penalty of death. A member of my family proceeded, with my permission, to shoot me in my chest. Dying and losing blood I was then rushed to some kind of religious hospital or clinic where people who were terminally ill went for consolation and advice, and to vent out their feelings. I remember seeing a parent with her kid and remember thinking ‘atleast he’s only an innocent child’, and feeling relieved that he would attain paradise in the after-life.But I was in a mess, with a hole in my chest. Sitting there dazed all I could think about was time. How I had wasted it, how I should have spent it in preparation for the death that was coming anytime now, how I wished I had more. How I had disappointed the people around me. Most of all though, how scared I was of meeting God and knowing that he might not forgive me for what I had done. I had no time to repent. My family and friends around me were either looking at me forlornly or else sobbing incontrollably.In the end, the situation was too much. I started screaming and eventually woke from the dream. I felt immediately for the bullet shell-hole in my chest but found none. I think I’ve checked about five times since for it. Looking back at first, I couldn’t help wondering at the absurdity of the situation I was placed in, but now I wonder if its really so absurd after all. I went downstairs and coincidentally was told of a film on last night that was about the death penalty. A conversation after that turned to a woman at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who came to the Prophet having committed adultery, and asking for her punishment. The Prophet first asked her to have the baby. She did and returned to him, asking again for her punishment. He told her the second time to raise the baby for two years. She did that and returned, again asking for her punishment. It was then that the Prophet ordered her to be stoned to death. The next day he told the companions of this woman, and how he had a vision of her swimming in a lake in paradise. All because she had repented and sought forgiveness in this life, enough for God to feel she was sincere in learning her lesson. So the concept of the dream, no matter that I was shot by my own uncle, was not so absurd. In any case, I don’t think I can ever forget this, and I don’t know that I ever want to. Till next time I write, bye!

Bungie-jumped 200-feet off a crane.
It was Amazing, capital A. I could see the horizon, land and sky merging and the sun setting, shining its light down onto the fields. My friends were little specks down below. Yeah, I looked down, which probably wasn’t the best idea.

Continued with my Graphic Novel.
Yes, its still in the works, although progress is really slow. Every little frame is taking days! I don’t know if I’ll ever finish this. But I’m determined to try.

Been on holiday.
I went to Wales with family. It was great. I loved it!

The past few months I’ve really enjoyed. Mainly because I’ve been allowed to have a job I really enjoy, which is working in graphic design. I’m currently freelancing and am on a contract of sorts with a charity organisation. Even though I feel a little bad taking their money it has been satisfying to see my work printed and seen locally at various places. I’m hoping more people will hire me due to the publicity.

Anyway, what I earn at the moment isn’t really enough to support me in the long term, so I’ve been looking for a steady job where I can carry on freelancing as well. Today I applied for a Digital Assistant post at a photography company in town. So hopefully in the next few days they’ll give me an interview. Fingers crossed!

My anticipation for uni is getting steadily bigger. To be honest I can’t wait to get back in education after the tumultous gap year I’ve had. I took a year out ‘cos I felt like I was being burnt out by the workload. I reckon that part’s covered now, for the most part. But its the feeling of falling behind your friends which is a little annoying. I start September 29th, a day before my birthday.

On Sunday I returned from my trip to Brussels. The reason for going was a national spiritual gathering there on Saturday. After the last trip to Paris I was a little worried I’d be zoned out by the time we reached there and the gathering began, even though I’d attempted to get some extra sleep the day before to make up for all that I would lose on the journey. As it was, it turned out to be ok. We left early in the morning by coach and caught the ferry to Calais, then drove the rest of the way to Belgium. All in all around an 9 hour journey, arriving there around 8.30.

Once we got there we were immediately attended too. I was once again amazed (but not surprised) at how hospitable the fuqarah were. We freshened up, and were then hushed upstairs to a beautiful lunch. Then it was business as usual and we joined in the wadifa, everyone reading from a seperate juz (book) of the Qur’an so that by the end we would finish all the book. After a few hours those from England were whisked away again for dinner, which wasn’t lacking in any department either. Three courses, there was cous cous, rice, marinated roast chicken and cooked fruit and vegetables with some kind of curry. It was amazing how organised the whole thing was! Hundreds of people there, in relatively small building and things went as smooth as silk. Another thing that caught my eye (but again, not surprised by) was how far and wide people had travelled to get here. When a friend and I were eating we struck up a conversation with a brother from Rotterdam, who thankfully could speak a little English. I’m always left a little frustrated by my inability to communicate as much as I’d like when I’m abroad, and I was left wishing I’d payed more attention learning French at school. Luckily though I was saved; words couldn’t describe the atmosphere on that night. Even now looking back I can’t find a word befitting enough. It was beautiful. There is nothing better in this world than the worshipping of God, nothing more worthwhile. Especially when you are worshipping together, it just heightens the effect it has on you mentally. There was such strength of belief and such pure love that it could bring the hardiest man to tears.

So the gathering went on and the qasa’id (songs) were sung. A few years ago I would have joined in with these as I knew quite a few of them. But lets just say my voice isn’t what it once was! This was when the son and grandon of Sidi Hamza arrived. And they lit the place up. Emotions were let wild. It was beautiful. When the songs were sung and people were calmed down, someone gave a talk. This was when I fell asleep. It was pretty annoying. It wasn’t like I was the only one but I regret it now because I love listening to the talks. I guess at that time it was like 6am in the morning. Atleast I can get a video of the gathering off my friend. Anyway, after that it was the end. Everybody gave their farewells and left to wherever they came from. We got straight onto the coach and left for England. No sleep or anything.

S o here I am back at home. I woke up this morning at 2PM. =P I just hope I can keep up the momentum this trip gave me and try and get rid of some of the bad feelings I harbour from day to day. I want to become a better person and I know this is the way forward. I know I’ve said this before and havent delivered, but I’ll try and upload some photo’s from the trip. Not particularly proud of them though.

In other news, Spain won the Euros! I’m happy for them. Actually I’m happy for anyone who beats the Germans. Right on! Now to wait for the Premiership season to begin.